Tag Archives: food

Thanksgiving Ingrate

Americans love to get presents and be the center of attention, which is probably why most of us claim our birthday as our favorite holiday. Thanksgiving is also near the top of the list because it brings together four of the greatest joys in life: feasting, family, a four day weekend and, of course, football. It is a day which allows us to cure momentarily our chronic case of the gimmees and just be grateful for what we already have.

Despite Thanksgiving’s huge popularity, there are a few Americans who, though their hearts may swell patriotic and their stomachs appreciate the traditional meal, nevertheless harbor a secret resentment toward the beloved Turkey Day – I speak of those late November birthday babies.

Oh, we are a sorry bunch. When next year’s calendar comes out we must look ahead to see how close the fateful day comes to impinging on our specialness. If Congress had just left the date of Thanksgiving in the early fall, as it was when the Pilgrims originally celebrated it with the Wampanoag Tribe in 1621, we of the November 22nd through 28th set could be guaranteed chocolate cake instead of pumpkin pie with candles. If they’d just left well enough alone when Colonial Governor John Belcher declared Thanksgiving be November 12th in 1730, or when President George Washington proclaimed in 1789 that Thanksgiving be observed on the 26th of November, more of us could consistently have pizza for our special birthday dinner instead of green beans and cranberry sauce. Admittedly, even with such arrangements there would still be some whiners among us. But there would be far fewer and most importantly, I, being born on the 24th, wouldn’t be in their midst.

Continue reading

Leave a comment

Filed under comedy

Hot Dogs

Why do we call them “hot dogs” and expect kids to eat them?

One of the first words my daughter learned was “hot,” which of course was associated with “No!”, “Don’t touch!”, and “Run for your life!” So when a plate of food was set in front of her and Mama said, “Blah blah blah HOT blah!” she would certainly have nothing to do with it.

Then she learned what “dog” meant, with its close ties to “kitty,” “bunny” and “dolly,” so as expected she looked at me with horror when I suggested that she eat one.

Two strikes, in this case, and you’re out.

I’ve started to call them “weiners,” a la Oscar Meyer.

We shouldn’t run into any trouble there for a while.

Leave a comment

Filed under food, kids