They say we are what we eat, but is it also true that we are what we say?
As I sit here pondering how to integrate all our techniques for grounding and calming, how to develop habits to overcome my tendency to panic and to face life with an attitude that results in capable, adult handling of situations rather than my usual babyish crying and tantrum throwing, I am reminded of how the English language might affect us.
Often, I am afraid.
In French, J’ai peur. Literally, that means “I have fear.”
In Spanish, Tengo miedo. Literally, “I have fear.”
How come in English I AM afraid? I AM the fear? When you HAVE something, isn’t it much easier to get rid of it? Race down the highway and toss it out the window? Bye bye fear? I have fear in my pocket, pick it out and throw it in the trash. Worst case scenario, I throw out the pants.
I AM afraid. That’s part of my being. That’s essential to my existence. I AM Elena, I AM a Mama, I AM afraid.
I can say, I FEEL afraid or I EXPERIENCE fear, I suppose. But that is not my go-to expression. No, I AM hungry, tired, overwhelmed, sad. Okay, none of those things right this minute, but I just mean when I feel something, I AM it.
At least in Spanish, they may say “I am sad,” but they have two forms of the verb “to be,” one indicates a temporary state, one is a permanent state of being. Guess which one is used for emotions? They give themselves a way out! Do we?
Does our use of verbs have any psychological effect, or AM I just trippin’?